You told yourself you were over it a long time ago.
But you still measure yourself against who you were. You still feel something when you drive past the field. You still introduce yourself, somewhere in the first few sentences, by what you used to be.
That's not nostalgia, and it's not weakness. It's an identity that was never replaced, only buried. And the good news hasn't changed since the day you stopped playing — you are still more than what you did, and it's not too late to build on it.
Twenty years late is still right on time.